I’m a huge football fan and I’m fascinated with the managers. I love seeing their different approaches; from the way they talk to the media to the stories players tell about how their manager interact with them.

Whatever approach they take, while their tactics and understanding of football is important, success is increasingly about how well they can manage, communicate and motivate the players. Ultimately, it's about how they bring out their best in their people.

Our lives are filled with habits. Good and bad; from biting our nails to doing yoga at 6am before work.

They can bring out our best or worst and can help us move forward or hold us back.

So, how do we build positive habits. The kinds of rituals that will help us to learn, get fitter or get closer to that dream career or job. Once we’ve identified them, how do we make them stick?

Stories are compelling. Whether it's one on Netflix or involving a colleague at work, we love them. 

Stories are great and it's what makes the world colourful, but we need to be aware that we also have our own stories; the stories we tell ourselves, about ourselves. 

We’ve built these stories up in our own heads over the years based on things that have happened in our lives; the things that went well, went badly and importantly how we reacted to them. Our story tells what we think we’re good and bad at. 

When I tell people that I’m a coach and that my speciality is helping people be more confident, they think I’m all firm handshakes and a big booming voice. Anyone who knows me, appreciates that I’m not.

Someone recently asked me at a seminar I was delivering if I had always been confident. Had I always been able to look comfortable when delivering a talk and able to maintain good eye contact? No. Definitely not.

When you’re at school, most of the questions you get asked have a clear answer. For example 3 x 5, and even with essays they are looking for a certain sort or style of answer. 

And you are rewarded for it. You get it right; you get smiles from the teacher and an extra hour on the games console at home. You get it wrong; and it’s shaking heads and extra pressure to ‘try harder’. 

In our monthly Confidence Bootcamp, we start by asking attendees who they think is confident and why. The person can be anyone they choose, it's what they are seeing as confident that we’re interested in.  

The answers nearly always describe people that either speak up a lot, are successful, or loud. 

These people may well be confident but I’d also say that some of the loudest people I’ve met have been among the least confident I know.