No one wants to look like a fool.

Fear of looking a fool can stop us doing a lot of things, from wearing a slightly different outfit to speaking up in meetings.

That’s pretty common, but as a coach, the question I ask clients is how are they interpreting what a fool looks like? In my experience it’s mostly just our own perception based on assumptions we are making about what other people think.

WE think we will look a fool, so we must look like one.

In the workplace this can manifest itself as not speaking up or pushing yourself forward for that project you want to work on – you avoid it.

Coaching can help challenge these assumptions but you can be brave and unlearn your assumptions yourself.

I’ll explain.

I spent many years working in a press office and there I learnt a valuable lesson about speaking up in meetings. I’d often be in meetings with people a lot more senior than me, where they’re talking about something that I was there to provide comms support with. Generally, someone would be at the front presenting a report and what it found. It was an intimidating experience, at first I was scared to ask questions as they all ‘looked’ like experts to me. I didn’t want to look a fool.

However, on one occasion, the whole report was based on a premise I didn’t understand, and I knew my boss would ask about this big piece of work. SoI took a deep breath and put my hand up and said I didn’t understand. The look of relief in peoples’ eyes in the room was obvious. It wasn’t just me, no one understood.

I never made the mistake of thinking everyone else knows what they are talking about again, no matter how senior they are.