Confidence can come and go. You might feel super confident giving a presentation to the Board but then like a fish out of water at a party. When you have it you aren’t really aware of it and it never crosses your mind. When you don’t have it, it feels like you can stop noticing it. The strange thing is in either situation, nothing has actually changed, you are still you. The only thing that’s different is your perception of you.

People often refer to confidence as a trick but for me its more like a lens or a pair of glasses. When you have those anxious ‘I’m really not sure’ grey tinted pair on everything can appear to confirm your negative storyline. Colleagues talking in the kitchen ‘must’ be talking about how badly your meeting went. And the guy on the desk next to you isn’t talking to you because he thinks the paper you sent him is not up to scratch.

On a different day, you have your normal glasses on and people are just talking and making tea in the kitchen and the guy next to you is just busy.

Equally either pair of glasses can make us assume that everyone else is so confident and knows what they are doing. That seems to make it worse. The fact is (perhaps with some very rare exceptions) they are the same as you. Every CEO, Director, newbie or old hand doubts a decision or judgement at some point.

While we can’t stop these moments where our confidence and self belief will make us wobble, for me, the important thing is noticing it. That’s easier said than done. As a coach, my job is to help you look at situations or issues differently and that may involve helping you to notice not only when you are feeling less confident, but more importantly, why. By working together to explore why and when you might be reaching for the negative glasses, you can start to do something about it.